Here are times when he was near going mad. A prize that he found, was given freely, then just a fast taken away. Here is a peak at the sections of his diary that related to his pain.


July 8th 1909
The night goes by and I see you watching me I want you to come to me by the shore.
Your hair flowing with childish curls so free you run
Why I have been choose to see you I do not know.

September 16th 1915
But you are far away and only haunt me in my dreams,
I see you running to the shore,
The waves hit you and you turn and look at me.
You are no longer a child by the sea.

January 20th 1920
But now you are a blossom waiting for me.
You waltzed with me without a clue of who you are
You have grown but the innocent keeps you from knowing me
You were torn from my arms and the blossem fades
But I long to water you and see you bloom again.

November 30th 1923
You came to me of your own free will what a delight you are to me
Your taste and Passion enlighten me and set my world a dancing
You are by far my greatest prize and I would trade the Queens jewels-
For just one more taste of you wines sweet nectar
Then alas one will we be.

August 17th 1926
Then you vanish in the air and I am only left with your memories
Ones so vivid and inflamed. I have let you go.
And the sun starts to rise. You are nowhere to be found.
I must flee now to my haven under ground.

December30th 1933
Dark Ages set into my heart, how long will you allude me?
I wish for you to come again to me with your nectar so sweet.
Visit me Love and sing of submission.
But alas you are away with your existence and away from me.

March 11th 1940
The night begins I am alone. I will find you! I swear
By my blood! I will hunt you down and haunt you,
Like you have haunted my dreams so fierce.
And Kill those Dragons that twist in my gut.
For I will have you again, alone with me.

July 25,1987
I am coming now I am oh so close,
I found you once I will find you again.
You are mine, Mine alone! You belong to me.
And I will keep you locked away from the world
For you will only shine for me alone.

May 18, 1997
I have set my plan in motion and you'll be on the run
Run to me in to my arms for I shall make you reborn
I will welcome you love and you will have rest
I will discipline you with my love, and you will learn to submit to me
We were created for me to have
And to hold and this binding vows will be resorted.

Book

The Beginning...
Continuing... Enduring... The Night He Found Her...